Hi, there!
We’ve been through the first quarter of the year. Most of us are already deep into our company’s plan for the year. That’s good.
However, not everything is work.
I have personally struggled finding the right work/life balance. Which, by the way, I don’t think it exists… work is part of life, so instead of balancing “two lives” I believe we have to create a sustainable lifestyle, in which we have time and energy for all the things we want to do, enjoying every part of it.
Deep so far, right? 🙂 Well, it gets deeper.
I am a father of a 2-years-old beautiful boy. A person I decided to bring to this world. A guy I wish the best for. My wife and I usually dream he’ll become an astronaut and take mom and daddy to the moon for a family trip. (Of course, we’ll leave him to choose his career!).
The motivator for the book
Being a parent is both beautiful and exhausting. My wife and I knew that we were making a huge change in our lives by becoming parents, but we weren’t even closer to what “huge” meant.
So, here I am. Loving my son with all my heart. Wishing he becomes an astronaut, which means he’ll have to outperform in many areas of his life.
Now he has a tantrum. And another. He becomes a toddler and start trowing things away. He starts talking and learn to yell. He starts to understand how relationships work and starts defying mom and daddy. He knows the kitchen has dangerous things but he will go there anyway and reach the sharpest knives (because he’s smart enough to use a chair to reach higher places in the house).
I ran out of resources. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I wanted to give my son the best of myself, but I didn’t know how. So I looked in the same place where I look for answers for my personal and professional growth: books!
“No book can teach you how to be a parent”. Yeah, bs. Reading about parenting is one thing, experiencing it is a totally different one. But there are plenty of resources you can use to intentionally become a better parent, if you want.
The book
At first glance the title was a little rush. I didn’t yell at my kid… at least, not too much. Then -as I always do- I read reviews on Amazon. Some of them went like “this book makes me feel like a s**y parent“. I knew that buying the book represented not only the compromise to read the entire book but to intentionally work every day to get better at parenting.
Dr. Laura presents 3 pillars to work in your relationship with your children: Regulating yourself, Fostering connection, and Coaching not controlling.
It basically says that if you want to help your child to develop their full potential you have to work hard. You have to connect with your child, help them discover this world, and give them all your love. And, clearly, you can’t do that if you are exhausted.
After reading “The 5 am Club” I struggled to get up by 5 am. Not surprisingly, the “secret” to get up early is to go to bed early. The same works for having energy to dedicate yourself fully to your child: you have to recharge periodically.
The book is very well organized and it’s easy to read. Furthermore, Dr. Laura gives very specific practical examples of how to deal with different situations for ages 0 to 9.
She also explains (in a non-scientific terminology) how not dealing (or dealing wrong) with different situations affect our children in the future.
My final thoughts
I totally disagree with those who say that you can’t learn about parenting from regular resources such as books, podcasts, and others. I totally disagree with “life will teach you, don’t worry” or “children will grow anyway“. No.
I’m now fully convinced that parenting is a full-time job that requires our full devotion, and that we have to use every resource out there to become better.
After reading this book I feel more prepared to deal with some of the daily situations I face with my beautiful Estanis, from his tantrums to his learning challenges.
I’d recommend this book to any parent that want to intentionally work every day to become a better parent, without the fear of learning that we may have done things wrong (and that we will still do).
